"Please pass me that parenting handbook....I need to smack my Kid with it!"

From a funny pin I saw one time, but holds so much truth. Sometimes I feel like I have tried all the 'tricks' in the book, but nothing works. And, as you all know, what works for one kid, doesn't work for another. So I just need to vent for a minute...don't worry, you will all go away with a smile. Because it's always funny when it is someone else's kid, right?
     I want to say this started last year, but I can't pin point exaclty when. The two boys (7 and 4 at the time) thought it was a fun game to pee on their bedroom floor after their baths. They weren't doing it cause they couldn't make it to the bathroom. They were just (from what I can gather) facinated with the aspect of peeing and aiming. So rather then aiming in the toilet, why not aim at the floor...or see if I can hit my pajama bottoms across the room, or the laundry basket in the corner. Well, we took priviledges away and Bodie,  got it and quit. The 4 year old, Jax,  not so much. He would wake up in the night and stand up and face his mattress and pee ON his mattress. He said he was scared to go to the bathroom (which is next door to his bedroom). So I left the hall and bathroom light on and he still peed in his room, in his toy box, under his bed, in his closet...anywhere but in the bathroom. So we had him sleep on the bathroom floor so he would be close enough if he needed to use the toilet. That worked. I can remember that as of last fall we had nipped it in the bud.
     Last week I went downstairs and found a pair of pajamas that were splattered and wet. I asked Jax what happened and he said he stood against the wall and shot his pee across the room and peed on them. Kudos for telling the truth, but made me piping mad!! So that night he slept on the bathroom floor. Again, problem solved...I thought. Monday, Bodie came upstairs and said that Jax peed on his leg while they were getting dressed after their shower. Words I never thought I would say "Don't pee on your brother!" Which I used when the boys use to use the bathroom together, now we make sure they pee seperate. Problem of peeing on each other solved? Apparently not. Most brothers would punch each other when mad, not Jax. He pees on his brother when he's mad! Again, kudos for creativity, but made me super mad this time. So he slept on the bathroom floor and for the next 24 hours lost all privledges and niceness from Mom. Everytime he would ask for a favor I would say no cause you peed on the floor.
"Mom can I have a cookie?"  "No, cause you peed on the floor." " Mom, can I watch my shows?" "No, cause you peed on the floor." Mom, can I have a friend over?" "No cause you peed on the floor."
  I then we did some verbal drills:
"Jax, where do we go pee?"
"In the toilet." Repeated 10 times.
    You may say this was harsh for a 5 year old, but I am at a loss. He doesn't get it. He is impulsive and doesn't think of the consequences. So I am hoping this time it sticks. It has only been 2 days, So I guess we will see.
   On a lighter note (and don't you dare repeat this to Harlee, she would die! But it was so cute I had to share!!) Harlee (11) came home from school and said that her good guy friend, Kail, "asked her out." Kail had is best friend write Harlee a note that said:

Harlee will you go out with me?
_____Yes           _______No, I don't even like you

So, I asked Harlee what she did and she said,
"I added my own box that said
______Just friends"

I asked her what going out meant, and she said that she didn't really know, but assumed that it meant that he wanted her to be his girlfriend. Upon asking her how she felt about that, she said that she thought that she was too young for that (good girl!). She said as she was getting off the bus, she turned to Kail and said, "let's just take things slow." :)
I love Harlee, she is smart and witty and innocent. I love it!! I hope she keeps that attitude of boys for along time!!
It's moments like these that get me through the peed on kids and carpet!